Changes!

I've been MIA lately, and will probably continue to be until June 8th (or even later). I'm still OP, but my free time has gone to zero in the last little while. Here's why:

April 12th: 45 page paper on the arbitrability of patent disputes due
April 21st: trusts exam
April 27th: patent law exam
April 29th: 25 page paper on the experimental use exception due
May 1st: my bridal shower
May 25th: 1st of 2 bar exams
June 8th: 2nd of 2 bar exams
July 17th: wedding!
July 20th-29th: Paris!
August 3rd: start new job as a real live lawyer!

I got a little lump in my throat just typing that out. Ouch! Yikes! Barf!

In other news, I've decided to drop my points down to 23 in anticipation of being at 175 (where I'll need to eat 22 points a day). I'm pretty sure I didn't lose anything this week, and it's not because I was bad! I think I just need less food now. I'll report back tomorrow...

Theftuous Thursdays

Yes, "theftuous" is a word. Look it up!

I'm going to start taking wisdom, fun/helpful hints, and whatever else I stumble across from other blogs and websites. Don't worry though...I wouldn't steal from the knowledge-rich without distributing the wealth! I'm like the Robin Hood of weight loss!

Today's loot: a website that has generic food points calculated. The back of the WW book is great and all, but sometimes it doesn't list things! So, here's a pre-calculated list of more foods!

http://quiddity.cc/rachel/diet/wwfoods.htm

DID YOU KNOW?!

Ok, extreme excitement over here! I was pre-cooking dinner for tonight, as I have class until 9 and it sucks to come home and have to cook. The recipe I was using called for breadcrumbs, which of course, we are out of. I took 2 slices of WW bread, 1 tbsp parmesan cheese, and a dash of pepper, and used a hand blender (!!!) to mix them into breadcrumbs. I totally did not know this was possible - they turned out the exact consistency of breadcrumbs! An entire bowl of breadcrumbs for only 2 points!?

Just imagine the possibilities!

Wise Wednesdays

I want Wednesdays to be a time for me to reflect on my week thus far. I don't often sit and think about how my journey is going overall, so I think this should be a good opportunity for me to figure out what I'm doing well and how I could improve.

This week I've been horrible. I haven't been measuring, I've been having bites and tastes of everything, and it is so unlike me. It started with Saturday night, where I saved up my entire 35 WPs to go out for dinner and because we were having a birthday party for Tyler after. That's 59 points for the day, and although I don't think I went over, I don't know for sure because I wasn't properly keeping track (mistake #1). Now, because I weigh myself every day, I was up 1.6 pounds the next morning. Usually, I would logically think about this, and reason that it was because I ate SO much food! Unfortunately, I was also hung over, tired, and cranky, and it put me in a foul mood. Extra foul mood = not properly tracking (mistake #2). So, I've been up and down, and have lost interest (and self-control) over the week. Today, I'm going to be extra careful with my measuring, only eat the points I have, and go for a long walk to hopefully make back some of those extra points I've been sneaking. I have 2 days before my Friday WI, and I would really like to see at least a marginal loss.

"Just because you trip on a stair, doesn't mean you should throw yourself down the whole flight."

Wednesday and Thursday goals:
1. Measure everything. Yes, this includes ketchup.
2. Track everything. Yes, this includes ketchup.
3. Don't let my moods get in the way of my weight loss. Remember that in the grand scheme of things, a loss is a loss.

Tasty Tuesdays: Chinese Chicken Salad

I've decided to make each day of the week a different type of post...starting with tasty Tuesdays, where I'll share a delicious recipe!

Today's recipe: Chinese chicken salad
3/4 cup plain FF yogurt
1 tbsp peanut butter
1 tbsp rice wine vinegar
1 tsp sesame oil
1 chopped garlic clove
2 cups cubed cooked chicken breast
1.5 cups cooked cellophane noodles
6 green onions, cut into 1 inch lengths
1 red bell pepper, thinly sliced
1 small can sliced water chestnuts
2 cups mixed salad greens
4 tsp sesame seeds, toasted

Combine yogurt, PB, vinegar, oil, and garlic. Add chicken, noodles, green onions, red pepper, and water chestnuts; toss to coat. Refrigerate at least 1 hour. Serve over salad greens and sprinkle with sesame seeds.

Makes 4 servings @ 6 points each

Recommitting.

I haven't posted in a long time! I've had the blahs about WW and weight loss lately, and I can't seem to shake the feeling. I'm still losing - note the 3.4 pound loss on Friday - but my heart isn't in it! I think this has a lot to do with school, planning a wedding, and being entirely overwhelmed with life right now. I think I've cried every day for the last 5 days, and at the silliest little things. So, this post is my public declaration that I'm going to recommit. Not to WW, because I've been completely OP, but instead, to the feeling. I'm recommiting to my love of WW, to my love of watching the number on the scale go down, to my love of watching my confidence go up, and to all weight-related things generally! I'm going to try new recipes this week from my brand new WW cookbook, and I'm going to drink all of my water, and I'm going to love every second of it! I suppose that weight loss, like relationships, takes work. You have to choose to love your spouse, and I choose to love Tyler every day. Now, I'm going to choose to love myself, and in turn, to love WW too.

Tonight's recipe to follow...

Weekly Weigh-in

Friday mornings are when I weigh and measure myself. I'm down 2.2 pounds this week to 185.6, for a total of 14.4 in 4 weeks (woo!). My measurements are also starting to shrink, which is so exciting!

41.5 (hips); 33.5(waist); 41.0(bust)

This is the first time I've seen movement in the bust (down 0.5" total), and my waist hadn't gone down in a while either, so I'm pretty excited! I seem to be losing the most from my hips, which is strange because I never thought of my hips as being proportionally larger. Whenever I try on clothes in my size, I don't fill out the hips to begin with!

So...I feel lethargic today and have no other tidbits of wisdom to share! I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

Why is this time any different?

Someone on the boards asked all of the people who have done WW more than once "why did you leave WW last time"? I thought that was a fantastic question, and I thought for a long time about why I have lost and gained weight so many times in my life. Of course, it's a common phenomenon ("yo-yo dieting"). I've probably done WW 4 or 5 times seriously in the past, gotten to goal, and then gained all the weight back quickly (+10 extra pounds each time). I'm fantastic with the plan while I'm still losing weight, but once it's gone, I get over-confident and stop caring about what I eat.

So, I want to put down on 'paper' why this time is going to be different. Quite frankly, I'm tired of being obese. I like tying my shoes without being uncomfortable, dammit! Here's the action plan:
- Get down to 149 pounds (a relatively healthy BMI for me) using the regular WW plan
- Attempt to maintain for at least 6 weeks - figure out how many points my body can take without gaining (and try not to feel like a failure while doing so)
- Once I've successfully maintained for at least 4 weeks in a row, set a new goal (probably 139 pounds)

I'll also be thinking about this for the next little while to see if I can come up with more non-weight goals. If I have something to work towards, I think my job will be a lot easier!

Exciting New Spreadsheet Feature!

Ok, so it's not actually a feature that Excel *gives* you, but I've started to track my BMI along with my weight in my spreadsheet. Although I'm now in law school, my undergrad was in Engineering Physics, and math and science were my first true loves. An excuse to use another equation and study more numbers? I'll take it!

Here's the formula in case you're interested:
BMI = [(Weight in Pounds)/(Height in Inches x Height in Inches)] x 703

It turns out, my BMI was 34.0 when I started, and it's already down to 31.9! The obese range for BMI is over 30.0, and in order to be classified as just overweight, I'll have to get down to 175 pounds (first goal!). In order to have a healthy BMI (under 25.0), I'd have to get down to 145 pounds (second goal!).

I love looking at numbers!!!

Measurements

For the first time ever, I'm tracking my measurements along with my weight loss. This is mostly due to the fact that I have to fit into my wedding dress on July 17th, and currently do not. I originally went shopping for dresses in Montreal with my mom and grandmother. I found a gorgeous (size 16 bridal) dress there, fell in love, and then couldn't find anything even remotely as nice in Ottawa. When I went to order the same dress in Ottawa just after Christmas, the lady who took my measurements told me that 'perhaps I had had too merry of a Christmas,' (yes, she actually said that!) and that there was no way I fit into a size 16. Ouch. I'm pretty sure I didn't gain 2 inches in my waist over Christmas, but how do you argue with the measurement book? Either way, she made me sign a release form saying that the dress I was about to order would not fit me at my current weight. So, it's my mission now to not only fit into that darn dress, but to have to take it in!

Here are the stats:
Size 16 dress: Hips 42.5; Waist 32.5; Bust 40.5
Me starting WW: Hips 43.5; Waist 34.5; Bust 41.5
Me as of last Friday: Hips 42.0; Waist 34.0; Bust 41.5

So, my hips will now fit! Really, it's the waist that's an issue, but it has a corset back, so I'm not too worried. Plus, I have 4 months to WeightWatch and work out!

Now, here are the goods (but imagine me a lot shorter and currently a lot wider):

5 Great Things About Today

I decided that my blog needed some balance today. After feeling like crap all day, I thought I'd better drag myself out of this funk and tell my loyal followers (there are some, right?) 5 great things that I've experienced today! (Notice a trend? I love lists! And exclamation marks!)

1. Trident Pina Colada (sugarfree) gum! This stuff is fantastic, and totally satisfies the sugar craving. I do however worry that when I breathe on people, they'll think I've been drinking.

2. 3 Musketeers mint chocolate bar! Only 3 points! And conveniently, the package comes with 2 sticks - one for now and one for later! Deeeelish.

3. Pre-made meals! I made a huge pot of chili yesterday morning for us to eat for dinner tonight and tomorrow night. My class ends at 9pm tonight, so it's going to be super fantastic to go home to a hearty healthy meal.

4. Having extra energy! I now love walking. I walk everywhere. I even got off the bus early today!

5. My fiance Tyler! He is ever-supportive, and gorgeous! Thank you!

So there you have it. 5 positives! Maybe my day will turn around now?

I feel like poop :(

I know, I know, woe is me!

Here's what happened this morning: In my alternative dispute resolution class, we had to role-play a mediation. I was assigned to play the plaintiff's lawyer. The plaintiff was claiming that the defendant had knowingly given him a fatal communicable disease, and was suing for emotional damages as well as future care costs. When interviewing my client, I discovered that he had not in fact contracted the disease - he had received a false positive, had started the lawsuit, and then had discovered that he did not have it. Although I was really very careful during the mediation not to expose that he didn't have the disease, I felt like throwing up the entire time. Of course, not disclosing this in real life would be completely illegal, and I would lose my license. However, my instructions were to carry out the mediation in a fashion that would not expose him, and that would pretty much defraud the other side into giving us what we were claiming. Which they did. And then during the class discussion afterwards, it came out that he didn't have the disease. Although all of the plaintiff's lawyers had followed the instructions, we ended up looking pretty stupid, because it wasn't revealed that we were instructed to act this way. I feel like my reputation was at stake, and the professor did a piss-poor job at protecting us and telling the class that we were TOLD to act like this. And then it happened.......I threw up my breakfast and my lunch. In private, but still! Which got me thinking...do I still have to count the points (haha!)? I know this post had not a lot to do with weight loss, but what I was thinking about was:
- do I have to count the points?
- what effect does this sort of extreme stress have on weight loss? I wonder if stress was contributing to my weight gain to begin with?
- I need to learn to control my anxiety. I've never felt like this before, and I'm usually a no-nonsense kind of lawyer, but geez louise! I feel like such a failure!

Ok, rant over. Thanks for listening!!

Weightloss Toolkit

I've been thinking about my "necessaries" - things in my weightloss toolkit that I couldn't do without. I want to keep a running list because I always forget about some of my little tricks when I'm cooking or working out!

1. My trusty scale - I measure myself every day (I know, I know!) because I like to keep track of my fluctuations. That way, even if I'm up one day, I can tell if it's "for real". I keep an excel spreadsheet with a graph of my daily losses.

2. My tape measures - I purchased a 3-pack at the dollar store a while back, and I keep them in various places. I measure myself once a week (chest, waist, hips, each thigh, each arm) because I have a hard time seeing progress in the mirror.

3. Salsa - Such a good replacement for high fat/cal sauces! Salsa is so good on sandwiches, wraps, in casseroles, and pretty much anywhere else you need a little moisture!

4. Hot sauce - When I lived in Saskatoon, there was a hot sauce store around the corner from my apartment, and I got hooked. Now that we live in Ottawa, we have to drive to Navan to get our fix (http://www.chillychiles.com/), but it is SO worth it! We put hot sauce on everything (like the Frank's commercial - "I put that S*#t on everything") and it helps keep me satisfied. My personal favs are the Marie Sharp's line of hot sauces.

5. Spaghetti squash - slice in half lengthwise, microwave for 10 minutes face down, scoop out with a fork to separate the strands, and serve under spaghetti sauce. Mmmmmm

6. Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred - Best. DVD. Ever. Jillian makes you sweat, and tones you up, all in 20 minutes!

7. All of Mari Winsor's Pilates DVDs - Great for the days where you can't Shred ;)

8. My puppy - Steve is our little black pug. He loves to play in the park and go for long walks (beach optional).

9. iPod - I've been walking to school lately (5km!), and my iPod keeps me pumped up and moving quickly. It only takes about 50 minutes, but it gives me a chance to think, or to turn up the music loud enough that I can't think. Delightful!

10. WW Smart Ones meals (frozen) - I don't love the texture of some of these meals, and they contain a lot of sodium, but when I'm in a rush, it is SO nice to know exactly how many points I'm eating. The best ones are the chicken quesadilla and the breakfast sandwiches (hello Monday morning).

11. Mini Babybel Light - I really dislike the Laughing Cow cheese that everybody raves about. What's so great about flavorless cream cheese that comes wrapped in tin foil? Babybel actually tastes and is textured like cheese. Woo!

12. Flax seeds - I add these to chilis, soups, stews, etc. I just grind them up and toss them in for a little health boost in every bite! (Careful - they're high in points)

13. "Fake" poutine - I love love love poutine. McCain's fries baked in the oven + powdered poutine gravy (0 points!) + low fat brick cheddar = the most delightful Saturday night dinner!

What's in your toolkit?

Helpful Links

I wanted to share some links to pages that I've found helpful while following WW.

www.dwlz.com
Dottie has posted the WW points values for a lot of Canadian and American chain restaurants.

www.webmilhouse.com/pointcalc.php
An easy online points calculator. Great for work!

http://kitchenparade.com/2002/10/weight-watchers-recipes.php
Amazing WW recipes, with the points calculated for you. Search by points per serving.

www.weightwatchers.ca/community
The message boards at WW Canada are incredibly helpful, and all of the people on them are incredibly hepful!

About Me!

Hi, I'm Ashley! I'm 24, and I live in Ottawa. I've struggled with weight my entire life, so I started this blog to share my weight loss experience with as many people as possible. I have a lot of big ideas, and I hope that I can help a few other people out. I'm hoping to share recipes, helpful links, and life lessons learned.

I've been big before, but never this big - about 3 weeks ago I weighed in at a whopping 198 pounds. This is partly a result of my diagnosis of polycystic ovarian disease (aka PCOS) which makes women gain weight uncontrollably, but mostly a result of my apparent inability to control my eating or care about my health. However, luckily, all of that is going to (and has started to) change!

I've decided to use the Weight Watchers system on my own to lose the weight. I've used WW before, and it has always worked for me. The plan is so simple - low calorie, low fat, high fibre. I got down to about 148 pounds when I was 19 - the lowest of my adult life. This time around, I'm on my own financially, so I won't be attending meetings and my menus have to reflect my student income. However, I'm so determined to do this! My wedding is coming up this July, and I'm almost finished law school - 2 very good reasons to lose the pooch!

I'm going to try to post my weekly weigh-ins and measurements. So far:
Feb 13: 198
Feb 19: 194
Feb 26: 189.8

Measurements to follow!